some girls really DO need to be hit in the face with a chair. -______-
Miley Cyrus and Jack Fantastic (Barney Stinson)
This is by far the best thing i have ever read in my life.
and yes he actually turned this in. #notgraduating
“Given the wide range of love and hatred that V Day inspires, we’re going to take a second to tell you what everyone else thinks of what you think about Valentine’s Day:
“Ugh, I HATE Valentine’s Day, it’s such a stupid Hallmark holiday”:You are pretentious, single, and probably ugly. It’s not consumerism’s fault you’re not getting fucked tonight.
“Omg, I LOVE Valentine’s Day, it’s so much fun!!”: You’re going to wear pink underwear with hearts that you bought especially for tomorrow night, you have a boyfriend, everyone hates you for the pictures you posted of the cupcakes you made him today, and your resume is scented.
“Me and Henry are keeping things really low-key tonight, since we’ve been dating for so long, V-Day is like, an afterthought”: You don’t think your boyfriend is that into you anymore, so you’re not sure if he’s going to get you anything.
“Sooo I have this sneaking suspicion that Dan was like, stalking my Facebook today, I think it’s because he was missing me on Valentine’s Day, I’m sure he just didn’t text me because he’s mad at me and he’s like also, fundamentally against celebrating holidays”: You are the delusional dater, Dan wasn’t even at his computer today, he was out with me.“We don’t need to celebrate, every day is Valentine’s Day for us”: You’re one of those girls who brought Valentine’s Day cards for everyone in her marching band up until the 9th grade.
“It’s like, whatever”: You’re a single betch, let’s go out.
……So betches, in celebration of Hallmark’s ability to get people to buy you presents for essentially no reason, milk this shit for what it’s worth and enjoy. Remember that even if you’re single, Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to take shots in honor of the fact that you’ve avoided becoming that fat girl next door who’s busy downing chocolates and semen from her fugly boyfriend.”
Source: The Betches’ Guide to Valentine’s Day